RCCG YAYA SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER’S MANUAL
SUNDAY 3RD OF MARCH, 2024
LESSON: TWENTY-SEVEN (27)
TOPIC: BEFORE YOU SAY ‘I DO’
OPENING PRAYER:.Father, please guide me in my choice of a marriage partner.
BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 29:11-20 (NKJV)
[11]Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept.
[12]And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s relative and that he was Rebekah’s son. So she ran and told her father.
[13]Then it came to pass, when Laban heard the report about Jacob his sister’s son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him and kissed him, and brought him to his house. So he told Laban all these things.
[14]And Laban said to him, “Surely you are my bone and my flesh.” And he stayed with him for a month. Jacob Marries Leah and Rachel
[15]Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my relative, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what should your wages be? ”
[16]Now Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
[17]Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.
[18]Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.”
[19]And Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me.”
[20]So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.
MEMORY VERSE: “Let all things be done decently and in order” 1 Corinthians 14:40 (NKJV).
INTRODUCTION: The foundation of a godly marriage must be properly laid on sound moral and biblical principles. Before the exchange of vows, where the Christian fiancé and fiancée will say ‘I do,’ they should have passed through the phase of courtship and ensure that all things are done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40; Amos 3:3). The intending couple should also watch out for some ‘red flags’ before saying ‘I do.’
LESSON AIM: To teach students some moral and biblical principles before wedding.
TEACHING OBJECTIVES: At the end of the lesson, the students should be able to:
a. Describe Christian courtship.
b. State the purpose of Christian courtship.
c. Identify red flags in courtship.
TEXT REVIEW: Genesis 29:11-20.
From the above Bible passage, there are several lessons one could learn before one says “I do”.
i. There was a connection between Jacob and Rachel. They had a common background. ……………… vs 11-15.
ii. Laban had two daughters …………….… v16.
iii. Leah was tender …………………………..…..v17.
iv. Jacob loved Rachel …………………………..v18.
v. Laban said it is ………………………………….. v19.
vi. Jacob served …………………………………… v20.
OUTLINES:
1. DESCRIPTION AND PURPOSE OF COURTSHIP
i. The teacher should ask the students to explain what they understand by “courtship” and the purpose of Christian courtship
ii. The teacher should raise discussions on the description and purpose of Christian courtship as follow:
a. Christian courtship is that period before marriage when an intending couple – a Christian brother and sister – make plans, relate and find the middle ground on so many issues pertaining to their future together.
b. Courtship is important and necessary for the intending couple as they use this period to lay a proper biblical foundation in order to have a fulfilled married life (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
c. One vital issue that must be addressed during this period is obtaining the consent of both parents (Genesis 24:54-59).
d. Courtship is also a period to intentionally get to know each other better and not a time to engage in any form of sexual immorality. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Romans 12:1-2).
e. Intending couples should pray, study the Bible, attend Christian programmes, etc. together but avoid hanging out in secluded or dark places (2 Corinthians 2:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:22).
f. Discussions should cover their dreams, visions, purpose for living, plans, fears, health status/history and past relationships (if any).
g. They should endeavour to discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, differences (upbringing/orientation, cultural background), etc. through observation and by asking questions.
h. Intending couples should be open and sincere with each other in all aspects of their dealings (financial status, source of income, etc.).
i. There should be no pretence (stage-managed character).
j. It is also expedient to undertake marriage counselling lessons together during courtship (Proverbs 11:14).
CLASS ACTIVITY 1: The students should discuss other important activities that are expected in Christian courtship.
2. RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR
The teacher should allow students to mention some “red flags” they have identified in relationships.
A. There are a number of “red flags” to watch out for before entering a permanent marriage relationship.
B. Intending couples should fervently pray for God to reveal anything that is covered by either of the engaged partners. However, some things to look out for include:
i. Irrational jealousy (Proverbs 6:34; 27:4).
ii. Deception (Proverbs 24:28).
iii. The struggle to always be in control or dominate the other partner (Philippians 2:3).
iv. Physical or emotional abuse/violence (Isaiah 59:6);
v. A quick temper (Proverbs 22:24-25).
vi. Adherence to unscriptural traditional values (Colossians 2:8);
vii. Attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family (Proverbs 18:24);
viii. A show of dislike for would-be in-laws (Matthew 19:19);
xiv. Defiance to spiritual matters (2 Timothy 3:5);
xv. Drug or alcohol abuse, smoking, disrespect for boundaries, privacy/personal space or low moral values.
C. If you see any of these warning signs or other strange behaviours in a person you are entering a marriage relationship with, please pray and seek advice from your spiritual leader or marriage counsellor before you say “I DO’ (Mark 14:38; Proverbs 15:22; 19:20).
D. Marriage should not be entered into “at all cost.” You have your destiny to fulfil (Jeremiah 29:11).
E. You may consider the saying, “a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage’ and make a wise/informed decision (Ecclesiastes 10:10; 1 Corinthians 7:15b).
CLASS ACTIVITY 2: The class should identify other red flags not mentioned above.
CONCLUSION: Watch and pray before you say “I DO.”
EVALUATION: Mention some of the red flags to watch out for before you say “I do.’
CLOSING PRAYER: Dear Father, please reveal every red flag in my relationship and save me from future woes in Jesus’ name.
ASSIGNMENT: Write five (5) things intending couples should avoid during courtship (2×5=10 marks).
SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN
1. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me
To rejoice at Thy birth.
2. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Thy friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.
3. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.
4. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee
5. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I’ll be in Sunday School.
6. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?